Marriage Counseling

On Wednesday, we had our first marriage counseling appointment. It was nothing spectacular, the guy mostly just talked about what we could expect from him in the coming appointments. Honestly, I don't think Aaron or I said anything, because he was too busy talking. But, we both left the appointment happy with him. We both thought he was a refreshing change to the last marriage counselor we had talked to. (The last one seemed to find it entertaining to ask us what bothered us about each other, then sit back and watch us fight). We were hopeful.

The real "fun" came when we got home from the counselor. Aaron normally watches TV while I get the kids ready for bed, and then halfheartedly listens to family prayer. I don't mean to bad mouth my husband, but that's how it is. He never offered to give the prayer, and wasn't usually very excited about the idea of turning off the TV long enough to pray. As soon as the prayer was over, he turned the TV on and I tucked the kids in by myself. He occasionally gave them hugs and kisses, but only if I told the kids to do it first.

This night was different. He got kids in their pajamas without being asked. He helped brush their teeth, and he wanted to read them stories. Aaron asked if he could offer the family prayer. He wanted us to kneel down together. His prayer was heartfelt and sincere, the spirit was in our home again. There was nothing "amazing" about the prayer, it was simple. But it was honest. Once prayer was over, he walked down the hall with the kids, made sure each of them got a hug, kiss and "I love you" from their dad. He read another book to Nathanael because he was sad that the book he wanted hadn't been read before. Now, I know what it sounds like. The typical abuser, pretending to have "changed" so the abused will take them back. Aaron's sincerity was crystal clear, and he had no idea how close I had come to filing for divorce. He didn't know I had made the decision to stop trying to "fix" everything. You can't fake this stuff. The spirit was, again, telling me that he was coming back.

We talked for about an hour after the kids went to bed. It was so good to hold his hand, and kneel by our bed together as we prayed. Most of our past prayers consisted of him laying in bed, hands on his chest. There was never a change in the prayers, just the "typical" things. I tried, but the spirit was never really in it when we prayed together. Aaron left for his mom's house, and I tried to sort out my feelings. I thought I had made my decision. The counseling was just so I could say I had tried. I didn't think it was going to help, and honestly, it really hadn't. But, something else was happening.