Friday afternoon, after I 'asked' Aaron to stay home, we decided to have a mini celebration. Took a little $ out of savings, and took the family out to dinner. Probably not the greatest idea, since we don't do that kind of thing very often the kids get really loud and hyper when we do it. They were bouncing off the walls. On the other hand, it was great to see Aaron handle the kids so calmly. He has never done that before. EVER. He didn't have to be asked to help the kids with their food, or to flag down the waiter if I wasn't paying attention, he was offering to do things, and I often caught him staring at me like we were newlyweds again. Even with all the chaos of our kids playing at the table in Winger's, he managed to stay calm and collected. But he was also ENJOYING it. He liked the chaos. He wasn't overwhelmed.
I'm not saying that I think everything is already better, but things have improved so drastically that it's hard to comprehend without having gone through it yourself. Aaron still has counseling appointments every week, and we have marriage counseling every week. His counselor suggested he may need anti-anxiety meds AND anti-depressants for a while. If his seizure meds ever have a dosage change, we know what to expect and we will be proactive. We do have plans in place, we're not entering into this blindly.
Saturday morning, Aaron was at work and I almost forgot that he had been home the night before. But the spirit in our home had changed, and the previous tensions were almost gone. When Aaron got home, we were all excited to see him again. He walked in the house happy, and called out to the kids for hugs and kisses. In the past, he would come home quietly, and then be disappointed that we didn't all go out of our way to welcome him home. It's something I never thought I'd see, for Aaron to be so proactive in the relationship with his kids. He asked me to sit down with him for a minute, at which point he quoted a poem he had written me. (He may have to type that up as a guest post)
Later that night, we had plans to go see a fireworks show in a nearby city. They have carnival rides, food, vendor booths, etc. so our group got there early to eat and look around. We did the same thing last year, and here's a good comparison of how things have changed.
Last year, Aaron was irritated whenever the kids wanted to do anything besides sit still or play quietly.
This year, Aaron wanted the kids to play with him, and walk around and explore.
Last year, he wanted to sit in the van for the fireworks, because then the kids would all be buckled in, our stuff would be packed up, and we could get out of there fast.
This year, he laid out extra blankets for the fireworks, and was in no hurry to leave afterwards because he was enjoying the excitement our kids felt.
There is more, but these are the most obvious.
Sunday morning, I woke up to Aaron whispering and stroking my cheek. He had prepared breakfast for me. The kids were all still sleeping, so we sat in the bed and ate together, like newlyweds again. We looked in each others eyes, held hands, and sat quietly together. I am in love with my husband, all over again.
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