All my life, I have dealt with depression. I can't remember a time when I didn't have a poor self-image. I once heard it said that everybody has a secret. I refused to believe it. But I came to realize that my depression is my secret (NOT ANYMORE, it's on a blog). I hated telling anybody about it. It's not very well understood. Even my immediate family has a hard time understanding it sometimes, and they have all dealt with varying degrees of depression themselves.
I wanted to be popular, I wanted to have friends, and I wanted to be beautiful. So, the first guy that came along and knew how to make me feel special quickly became my boyfriend. He manipulated me. He knew I was depressed, and he used it to his advantage. But, I loved him deeply. After about 2 years, I started realizing that I wasn't getting what I wanted out of the relationship. I knew I had to break up with him, or I would never have the life I wanted. I wanted a return missionary, a temple marriage, an ETERNAL family.
In September of 1998, I finally got the courage to end the relationship. I told him that we needed a break. I still loved him, and had every intention of marrying him. But I felt that without a break, he would never become somebody capable of taking me to the temple, and never be able to serve a mission. My mom saw it differently. She begged my sister's husband to find a return missionary for me. A "nice guy" that would help me see how bad the old relationship had been.
Chris pulled out his day planner (that's OLD SKOOL!) and started looking at names. He got all the way to the letter "S" before he found somebody that he could line me up with. He saw the name, Eric Stucky, and was about to call when he remembered Eric was engaged. "but," thought Chris "Eric has a twin brother!" He called Aaron and asked him if he'd be interested in a blind date. Aaron had previously turned down blind dates, and other opportunities but felt good about it, and said he would meet me.
On October 10, 1998 we met. I was still in love with my old boyfriend. I was just humoring my parents and siblings. I wrote my brother on his mission and said "don't worry, even IF I fall for this guy, I won't get married before you come home." I saw Aaron, and immediately thought "he's a geek, this isn't going to work." Angie & I made dinner for our dates, then we went bowling. As the night went on, I started to feel Aaron's sincerity. He was an honest person. He was kind. But, he was still a geek! I was already in love with somebody else!! I had planned my future with another person.
We said good night, and I figured I'd never see him again. He asked if he could call me, and I said "OK" but didn't think much of it. By Wednesday, I was staring at the phone, wondering why it wasn't ringing. Why I hadn't heard from Aaron. I couldn't stop thinking about our date. There was something about this geeky guy!!
I got tired of waiting. I asked Chris to call him for me. I didn't want to seem too anxious (lol). Chris called Aaron and casually mentioned that he was going somewhere with Angie the next weekend, and that I'd be there. "You want to come too?" Aaron immediately accepted the offer. We had dinner and went to the Bountiful Temple for baptisms. I was only 18, and I was in love.
A few short weeks later, Aaron bought a ring. He had intended to wait until Christmas to propose, but couldn't hold out. He proposed to me on November 24, 1998. With tears in my eyes, I accepted. We cried and hugged in the middle of Olive Garden in front of dozens of complete strangers.
When my brother called from his mission on Christmas Day, I cried and apologized to him that I couldn't keep my promise. I was going to wed before he came home. He didn't even remember the promise. He laughed at me and said he was happy and excited for me.
We were married on 26 March, 1999 in the Bountiful Temple. My brother was still on his mission. He sent home a video with a rap he had written for us:
"Congratulations to my little sister Amberleah
she's getting married and starting her family
it won't be easy 'cause you won't enjoy havin' me
but it's fine 'cause you're getting married happily
Getting married in the temple is another step to heaven,
so remember that I love you and I'll see you in SEVEN."
He came home 7 months later. I had started my ETERNAL family.
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