Last week, I got to go out to dinner with a great friend. I've known her since we were infants :) She knows little about the situation with Aaron & I, and asked a few questions about how we are doing. At one point, I told her that I knew Aaron had been dealing with some demons, and he wasn't himself. It suddenly came to me, like a small whisper, that Aaron had a lot to accomplish on this Earth, and that is why he was still around and we were still together. It occurred to me that Satan had been working on Aaron because he knew Aaron's worth.
As I drove home, I couldn't stop thinking about what I had said, and the whisperings of the spirit. I compare it to the movie "The Patriot" (YES, I have seen some rated "R" movies, don't judge lol). For anybody that may not have seen that movie, Mel Gibson is the main actor, and his character is a patriot for the Revolutionary War. His character had vowed to never fight again after the French and Indian conflict. The British soldiers show up at his home and endanger his family, he decides to fight after all. He leads a "rebel" militia against the British soldiers. Anyway, one of his basic tactics is to go after the captains in the British army. He knew that once he took out the captain, the rest of that group (sorry, I don't know military terms and haven't seen the movie for a while) would fall apart. It was actually very successful (of course, that's why it's a movie).
I began to compare this movie to the workings of Satan. Satan knows our worth, he was there in Heaven with us. He knows what we are capable of. He aims for the "captains" in the army of truth, and tries to take them out so that he will have a stronger army. There are so many people that Satan singles out and tries to take down, and I believe one of the tactics he uses is to take out the strong ones first. I look forward to seeing the great things my husband will accomplish on Earth!
Today in General Conference, there were (as always) SO many great things to hear. Boyd K. Packer said that a mistake is never made without there first being a whisper from the Holy Ghost warning us of danger. Then he said that on the reverse, all mistakes can be forgiven through the atonement. Sin is a prison, and the only key to getting us out is the atonement. With the gift Christ gave us, we can be saved from evil, from Satan's plan. IF we listen to the promptings of the Holy Ghost. We are never far from the sight of our Father in Heaven.
Dieter F. Uchtdorf talked about how Satan uses discouragement as a tool. He tells us we are not good enough, we are forgotten, and we are insignificant. Wow, talk about something I needed to hear. It's like the depression makes me more susceptible to the whisperings of Satan. He said "Next to God man is nothing, but to God, man is everything." He loves us so much! One of the last things he said was "you matter to Him" and he pointed out that the things we see, feel, and suffer in this life are only temporary. In the life to come, Eternal Life, we will be blessed with pure joy. I so badly needed that reminder.
D. Todd Christofferson spoke about repentance, and I was again in awe at the gifts we've been given to be forgiven. Holding on to sin "mocks" the sacrifice Christ made. He has already paid the price and we only have to confess, abandon sin, and commit to obedience. "With faith, despair turns into hope. The cost of repentance is swallowed up in the joy of the forgiveness we receive."
L. Tom Perry's talk was awesome too, but one thing that really stuck out was "perfect love casteth out fear" so I am going to do my best to find that love and not be afraid to be myself. I want to "respond to the invitations to share my beliefs".
I know that I have a little work on the depression thing. I have said and done things that I regret, but I know that it's only temporary and I'll get through it. I'm thankful that conference was so helpful today. The leaders of the church are truly inspired men. I'm so inspired by Aaron's dedication to me and the kids.
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